Today was overall a good day, had some bumps in the road of course. But my sister and I had a very long talk tonight. We were totally open and honest with each other. She thinks she has to be just like me, and that I am perfect. I think she got the message that I am not perfect, and she is never going to be totally like me, she isn’t supposed to. She needs to be herself and she’s amazing💗 my sister also has lots of self esteem and body image issues. I know I have struggled with that A LONNGGG TIME, and I still struggle with it. I have this birth mark, mole above my chest, and it totally shows when I where stapless dresses. I have always hating it, cause I felt everyone was starring at it when I wore stapless dresses. Over the years I have learned to accept it, and love it. There is nothing to be embarrassed about it, it’s just a part of me. I don’t want to fleeze it off: one cause it will hurt and to I have had it my whole life, I would miss it💗 it’s just another part of myself I have learned to accept. Also I have always struggled with my weight number. Before my illness I was SUPER shinny, but I still thought I was fat. After my illness 3 years there I gained around 50 plus pounds, it was very difficult for me. I was soo used to being shinny and now that I wasn’t anymore it was tough. Having depression and anxiety doesn’t help. But I am learning to love myself the weight I am right now, cause I may never have the perfect weight number. I want to be happy with myself today☀️
Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight, lately I haven’t been sleeping much. Because my mind is so active and won’t shut off. So I am seeing my pysch doctor tomorrow, so she can get my Meds straight. Also my anxiety has been really bad lately, and Idk why. I just want to sleep and stop being anxious all the time!
I am going to bed now love💜