Daily life

The dark cloud over my head

Hey everyone!❤️

I hope you are doing good. I hope you have had a good weekend. Here’s an update on me and I am sharing with you a poem I wrote:

Mentally:

I’m very depressed and anxious. I have a lot of mood swings. Sometimes I am okay but then at night I get very depressed. I am messaging my doctor so hopefully he can help me but I know it’s just chemical depression which has to be treated by medicine. I am not okay.

Physically:

My fibromyalgia pain is killing me since I go to school every day. On the weekends I just feel so burned out and in pain. I am also having some stomach issues and I am having a colonoscopy in a few weeks. So yeah not doing that good.

So here’s my poem:

Stop telling me to be fine

I should be fine.

I should be happy.

I should not hurt.

I should not have fibromyalgia.

I should not be in pain every minute of everyday.

I’m not fine.

I’m not happy.

I’m hurting.

I have fibromyalgia.

I am in pain all day everyday.

I’m depressed.

I can’t stop being depressed,

Because believe me,

I’ve tried.

I can’t escape this sadness.

It’s a dark cloud over my head.

Sometimes I may be okay.

But at other times,

The cloud rains and thunderstorms.

Everywhere I go,

The dark cloud follows me.

Every night, the cloud rains and rains.

I can’t get the cloud to stop raining.

I can’t seem to stop being depressed.

I try to be fine.

I try to smile.

I try to look alright.

But that’s a lie.

I can’t always hide,

What’s on the inside.

On the inside,

I’m not okay.

I’m not alright.

Because no matter how hard I try,

I can’t stop feeling depressed.

Doesn’t matter how hard I try,

I’m always depressed at night.

It’s never ending.

So I’m not okay.

I’m not alright.

So please,

Stop telling me to be fine.

***

Thank you so much for reading! I am sorry if this post was really depressing I am just really struggling❤️

I love you all and I will post again next week!❤️

-xoxo Caty❤️

1 thought on “The dark cloud over my head”

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