Hey everyone! Welcome back. I hope you are having an amazing Father’s Day, here’s an update on me:
**trigger warning: talk about suicidal thoughts****
I am very depressed. Last night I started having suicidal thoughts. Ugh. I thought I was just depressed because of my pain but it’s more than that. I believe I am chemically depressed because all I could think about last night was death and laying in bed all day. It’s bad. It’s really bad. But I am safe. I do not have a plan. I just have suicidal thoughts. I am talking with my psychiatrist this week so hopefully we could change some of my medicines. I will just keep going. I promise you all I will not harm myself and I will never ever give up❤️
Ugh so much unbearable pain. The pain is constant and never goes away. I am losing hope that I will ever feel bad. I just hurt every single of everyday. I am exhausted and in so much pain.
Good new: I am on a new medicine for my fibromyalgia, I see my pain doctor in one week, and I talk to my psychiatrist this week as well.
I promise you guys: I am safe. I will not harm myself. I will keep going and I will not give up❤️💜💖
Thank you all for listening. I love writing to you all every week. It’s nice having a safe place to talk about how I am really doing💛
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I love you all. See you next week💛