I am not doing so great…

Hey guys! I am so sorry it’s been a while since I have posted.

So I got better for a few days. I saw my doctor and he didn’t changed my medicines. Everything was great!

And then,

I crashed.

I got depressed and suicidal. I cut myself to. So now I am still suicidal and depressed. I am not cutting right now (yay!) but I still have the thoughts. My doctor is currently on vacation and I am over here being depressed and suicidal. Not fair! So I am waiting for a call about starting ECT treatments. I increased my medicines so hopefully that will help.

I am depressed, stressed, exhausted, and suicidal. Bipolar sucks. 

I am making it. I promise you guys I am safe. I WILL NOT cut again. I just making. I am praying that something works like my medicines or ECT. I just want to get better. 

Everyone is starting back school but I am taking a semester off of college. I am not ready for college and that’s okay.

So, I will keep going. Things aren’t so good but I am here. I am alive and I am making it.

Thank you so much listening!

I love you all!💜

-xoxo Renae💕